1. Enhanced Physical Fitness: One of the most noticeable benefits of taekwondo is its ability to improve overall physical fitness. The rigorous training involved in taekwondo enhances cardiovascular endurance, muscular strength, flexibility, and coordination. Kicks, punches, and forms (patterns of movements) engage various muscle groups, leading to a well-toned body and increased stamina. Regular practice also contributes to weight management and improved posture, promoting a healthier lifestyle.
2. Mental Discipline and Focus: Taekwondo places a strong emphasis on mental discipline and focus. Practitioners are required to memorize complex patterns and techniques, which demand concentration and attention to detail. The practice of meditation and controlled breathing techniques further enhances mental clarity and mindfulness. Over time, individuals develop improved concentration skills that can positively impact their performance in other areas of life, such as work and academics.
3. Boosted Self-Confidence: Participating in taekwondo can significantly boost self-confidence. As students progress through various belt ranks and master new techniques, they gain a sense of accomplishment and pride in their achievements. Setting and achieving goals within the martial art fosters a belief in one’s abilities, leading to greater self-esteem and a positive self-image. This newfound confidence often extends beyond the dojang (training hall) into everyday life.
4. Stress Relief and Emotional Well-being: The practice of taekwondo provides an effective outlet for stress relief and emotional well-being. Engaging in physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, promoting feelings of happiness and reducing stress and anxiety. Additionally, the discipline required in taekwondo helps individuals manage their emotions, teaching them to remain calm and composed even in challenging situations.
5. Self-Defense Skills: Taekwondo equips practitioners with valuable self-defense skills that can be utilized in real-life scenarios. The martial art teaches techniques to protect oneself and others from potential threats. Learning how to effectively defend against attackers empowers individuals and enhances their personal safety awareness.

Conclusion: Taekwondo is much more than a combat sport; it is a holistic practice that offers a multitude of physical, mental, and emotional benefits. From improved physical fitness and mental discipline to boosted self-confidence and stress relief, the advantages of practicing taekwondo are far-reaching. Whether one is seeking improved physical health or a more balanced emotional state, taekwondo provides a comprehensive approach to well-being that extends beyond the training mat. Embarking on a taekwondo journey can lead to a healthier, more confident, and resilient self.

Video Link…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_41U5cj5jAw

Habit 1: Be Proactive
The foundation of effectiveness lies in taking responsibility for your life and actions. Being proactive means being in charge of your own destiny, making conscious choices, and not simply reacting to circumstances. It involves focusing on what you can control and influence rather than being victimized by external forces. Embrace a proactive mindset, and you’ll find yourself empowered to tackle challenges head-on and create the life you desire.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Effective people have a clear vision of their goals and aspirations. They start with a well-defined end in mind and use this vision as a compass to guide their decisions and actions. By clarifying your purpose and setting meaningful, achievable goals, you can align your efforts with what truly matters to you, leading to increased motivation and fulfillment.

Habit 3: Put First Things First
Time is our most valuable resource, and how we use it determines our success. Highly effective individuals prioritize their tasks based on importance and urgency, emphasizing activities that align with their values and long-term objectives. Implementing effective time management techniques, such as creating a to-do list and setting boundaries, will help you focus on what truly matters and avoid getting caught up in distractions.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Cultivate an abundance mindset and seek mutual benefits in your interactions with others. Highly effective people understand that collaboration and cooperation lead to greater success for everyone involved. Rather than engaging in zero-sum thinking, strive to find solutions where everyone can win. This approach fosters healthy relationships and builds a positive and supportive environment.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Effective communication is not just about speaking but also about listening with genuine empathy. Practice active listening and seek to understand the perspectives and feelings of others before expressing your own. This habit enhances your problem-solving abilities, minimizes misunderstandings, and builds trust and respect in your relationships.

Habit 6: Synergize
Synergy is the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Embrace diversity, appreciate different viewpoints, and work collaboratively to find innovative solutions to challenges. By tapping into the strengths and talents of those around you, you can create a harmonious and productive team or community.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
To be highly effective, you must take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Regularly invest time in activities that rejuvenate and nourish you, such as exercise, reading, meditation, or spending quality time with loved ones. By maintaining a balanced lifestyle, you’ll have the energy and clarity of mind to excel in all areas of your life.

Conclusion:

Incorporating these seven habits into your daily life requires commitment and consistent effort, but the rewards are immeasurable. Remember, effectiveness is not a destination but a journey of continuous growth and self-improvement. By practicing these habits, you’ll become a better version of yourself and inspire positive change in those around you. Here’s to your journey towards becoming a highly effective person!

Video Guide— https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKMwyPFX_74&t=368s

He’s been my husband for almost nine years now, and we are happier than ever.”

That’s a paraphrased version of a story one of our coaching clients, Megan, lived through a while back. It’s one of those life stories that really stuck with us—one that we still think about on a regular basis.

Using Megan’s story as a frame of reference, we are reminded that unhealthy relationships restrict and impair, while healthy relationships bring freedom and life to our existence. It’s important to remember the difference. It’s important to remember what you should never have to give up for a relationship. And that’s what this list is about—some good reminders about boundaries we need to uphold for ourselves:

1. Your imperfect magnificence

   It’s not hard to find someone who tells you they love you; it’s hard to find someone who actually means it. But you will find them eventually, so don’t rush love, and don’t settle. Find someone who isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone who knows you’re not perfect, but appreciates you as you are. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says, “I love you,” and then proves it day in and day out. Find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and gray hair, and then falling in love with you all over again.

   Remember that, to the people who truly love you, you are magnificent already. This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings, but because they so vividly see the beauty of your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and magnificent, at the same time.

2. The right to decide for yourself

   Don’t put the only keys to your growth and happiness in someone else’s pocket. Relationships are not about authority and obedience; they’re agreements of love and respect. You simply can’t live your entire life through someone else’s fantasies. There must be compromise and the space to do what’s right for you, even if someone you care about disagrees. Give, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Listen to loved ones, but don’t lose track of your inner voice in the process.

   Never apologize for what you feel and what you don’t feel; that’s a betrayal of your truth. No matter how

   much advice people give you, sometimes you have to feel things out for yourself, make decisions on your own, experience things firsthand, and build your own conclusions from the ground up the old-fashion way.

3. Your innate human need to be understood

   There’s honestly nothing more intimate than simply being understood and understanding someone else in return. Even when there are disagreements, every healthy relationship contains this mutual understanding—a loving space filled with listening and compromise.

   So remember to listen without defending, and speak without offending. Communication isn’t just an important part of a relationship; it is the relationship. And really, there’s only one rule for being a good communicator: the willingness to hear others. Because we do not always need a busy mind that speaks, just a patient heart that listens.

4. The freedom to love

   Love is the creative force of the universe. It is as important to life as oxygen is to breathing. When it is present in our lives, we feel happier, more optimistic, and fulfilled. Without it, we become angry, cynical, resentful people, critical of ourselves and others, effectively squashing the greatness that exists in us and diminishing our own light.

   Open your heart and let love out. Love people. Love experiences. Love yourself. And let go of those who try to stop you.

5. The courage and willingness to experiment with life

   To live a great life, you must lose your fear of being wrong. Remember that doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Even when things don’t work out, they do. Because in the end, experience is what you get when you didn’t get exactly what you wanted, and experience is often the most valuable thing you have to give.

   So don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. Don’t let someone scare you out of failing forward. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better. Either you will succeed or you will learn the next best step. Win-win.

6. Your joy

   Never let anyone or anything get in the way of your joy. Live a life that sizzles and pops and makes you laugh out loud every day. Because you don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that your life is a collection of meetings and “somedays” and errands and receipts and empty promises.

   So go ahead and sing out loud in the car with the windows down, and dance in your living room, and stay up all night laughing, and paint your walls any color you want, and enjoy some port wine and chocolate cake. Yes, and go ahead and sleep in on clean white sheets, and throw parties, and paint, and write poetry, and read books so good they make you lose track of time. And just keep living and laughing and making God glad that He gave life to someone who loves and cherishes the gift.

7. Other important relationships, including the one you have with yourself

   If a relationship is closing you off from the world, it’s time to break free. It’s time to choose love over deception. After all, that’s what love is all about—freedom.

   So don’t blame love if a broken relationship is interfering with your other important relationships, or robbing you of your self-esteem and personal freedoms. No, don’t blame love. For it isn’t love that’s stealing from you. It’s possession. It’s obsession. It’s manipulation. It’s confusion. Love has nothing to do with your situation. For love doesn’t close the door on happiness and liberty. It opens it wide to let more in.

   Likewise, if someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back. It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are than to keep them intact by pretending to be someone else. It’s easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new than it is to piece together your own shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space within your life where someone else used to be than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where you used to be.

8. Your inner peace and composure

No matter what you do or how amazing you are, throughout your lifetime some people will still upset you, disrespect you, and treat you poorly. Let them be; let karma deal with the cruel things they have done. Hatred and negativity filling your heart and mind will only consume you and your potential. You will begin to heal and grow emotionally when you let go of these past hurts, excuse the people who have wronged you, and forgive yourself for your misjudgments.

Bottom line: Learning to ignore certain people and situations is one of the great paths to inner peace. So let go when you must. Let them be, so you can be at peace.

It’s not always where you are in life, but who you have by your side that matters.

“HOW DO I know if I’m in the right relationship or not?”

This is one of the most common questions our coaching clients ask us. And after we listen to the specifics of their situation, we often toss a question back at them to further clarify their thoughts and expectations. For instance:

“What do you think a ‘right relationship’ should provide for the people in it?”

Although the answer here is obviously subjective, in all relationships, romantic and platonic alike, there are some clear signs that things are going well. So let’s take a look at some signs you’re in the right relationship, along with corresponding tips that could potentially help you make a “wrong relationship” right:

1. No games are being played.

   Far too often, we make our relationships harder than they have to be. The difficulties started when . . . conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word “love” fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution. Stop running! Face these issues, fix

   the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive, and love the people in your life who deserve it. And, of course, if you feel like someone is playing games with you, speak up and establish some boundaries.

2. Everyone is on the same page.

   If a woman starts out all casual with a man and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a committed relationship, it will likely never become a committed relationship. If you give someone the impression that casual, or whatever, is okay with you, that’s what will be assumed going forward. The bottom line is that you have to be straight from the start, or at least as soon as you know what you want. Don’t beat around the bush. If someone gets scared and runs away because you were honest and set boundaries, that person wasn’t right for you anyway.

3. The line of communication is open, honest, and clear.

   It’s better to talk and find out the truth than to keep going while silently wondering and get nowhere. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t expect the important people in your life to read your mind, and don’t play foolish games with their heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect them to trust you when the full truth comes out—half-truths are no better than lies.

   Listen without defending and speak without offending. Communication isn’t just an important part of a relationship; it is the relationship. Relationships often fail because of trust issues, commitment issues, and, above all, communication issues. So be honest, commit, be clear about your expectations, and communicate always.

4. Loving deeds consistently reinforce loving words.

   Nurture your important relationships so that when you tell the people you love that you love them, it’s merely a ritualistic validation of what you have already shown them by how you treat them on a daily basis. Do little things every day to show your loved ones you care. Knowing that the person you’re thinking of has you on their mind, too, means a lot.

   Truth be told, you can say “sorry” a thousand times, or say “I love you” as much as you want, but if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, they aren’t. If you can’t show it, your words are not sincere. It’s as simple as that. And there’s no such thing as a “right” relationship that isn’t sincere at both ends.

5. Expectations of perfection are strictly forbidden.

   Any relationship that’s real will not be perfect, but if you’re willing to work at it and open up, it could be everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

   Your best friends and your soul mate may be far from perfect, but they are the right fit for you. Give them a chance to show you. When you stop expecting the people you love to be a certain way, you can start to enjoy and appreciate them for who they are. It’s important to remember that every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect in the end is when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even when times are tough.

6. Honesty, vulnerability, and presence are held sacred.

   Although it may sound risky, the strongest type of love is the one that makes you the most vulnerable. It’s about daring to reveal yourself honestly, and daring to be open and transparent over the long term. It’s about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin, and truly being there in the flesh and spirit when you’re needed most.

   So open yourself up. Truly be with the person you love. Allow yourself to experience them authentically.

   Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around yourself and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad. This is real life. This is how you welcome a sincere connection with another human being.

7. There is a healthy blend of freedom and teamwork.

   Keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to be with us or love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. And likewise, we should never feel trapped in a relationship. In fact, if either person feels trapped, the relationship doesn’t really exist. Because that’s what relationships are all about: freedom.

   Relationships are also built on a solid foundation of teamwork. And since relationships are one of the greatest vehicles of personal growth and happiness, the most important trip you will ever take in life is meeting someone else halfway. You will achieve far more by working with them rather than by working alone or against them. It really is a full circle. The strength of a relationship depends on the strength of its two members, and the strength of each member in the long run depends on the quality of the relationship.

   And remember, relationships are rarely fifty-fifty at any given instant in time. You can’t always feel 100 percent, or a full 50 percent of a relationship’s whole—life is simply too unpredictable for that. So on the days when you can give only 20 percent, the other person must give 80 percent, and vice versa. It’s never been about balancing steady in the middle; healthy relationships are about two people who are willing to make adjustments for each other in real time as needed, and give more when the other person can’t help but give a little less.

8. Personal growth is embraced, celebrated, and shared.

   It’s not about finding someone to lose yourself in; it’s about meeting someone to find yourself in. When you connect with someone special, a best friend or a lifelong partner, this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other; you both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each other’s growth.

   When you honestly think about what you and your closest confidants add to each other’s lives, you will often find that instead of giving or taking things from each other (advice, answers, material gifts, etc.), you have chosen rather to share in each other’s joy and pain, and experience life together through good times and bad.

   No matter what, you two are there for each other, growing and learning as one.

9. Outsiders aren’t calling the shots.

You have to live your own life your own way; that’s all there is to it. Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for certain people. It’s your duty, and yours alone, to decide if a relationship is right for you. You’ve got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you and start actually living and deciding for yourself.

About a decade ago, in quick succession, we dealt with several significant back-to-back losses and life changes, including losing Angel’s brother, Todd, to suicide; losing our mutual best friend, Josh, to cardiac arrest; and losing our home in the downturn of the economy. The pain inflicted by each of these experiences was absolutely brutal, and enduring them one after another broke our hearts and knocked us both into a moderate state of depression. There was a long stretch of time when we shut out the world, shut out each other, and avoided our loved ones, who were grieving alongside us.

Luckily, with the right support and the gradual restoration of our inner resolve, we pushed forward, stronger and with a greater respect for life. And while there were many intricate steps to our recovery process that we’re leaving out here, the outcome of our journey ultimately led us to the work we do today, over a decade later.

Through our course and coaching, we have spent the better part of the past ten years leveraging our lessons learned to guide amazing human beings through the process of coping with significant bouts of depression and heartbreak (and other forms of adversity). Though work has been anything but easy, it’s also been incredibly rewarding and life-changing—it has undoubtedly been the most significant silver lining of the painful losses and life changes we were forced to endure.

In one of the radio interviews we did for our book, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs, the talk show host asked the most sweeping question imaginable:

“What have you learned over the past ten years from coaching people through depression and heartbreak?” We answered the question as best as we could, and tried to give decent insights within the time allotted.

But we were off-air a minute or two later. So the truth is, we barely had enough time to graze the surface of such a complex and personal topic. But after that interview, we actually enjoyed thinking more deeply about it. In fact, we spent the entirety of our lunch break that day having a very open and candid conversation about what we have learned from both our own depression and heartbreak and the lessons that emerged afterward from coaching others through these painful states of mind. We took some notes while we chatted, and we’d like to share them with you.

While we are certain there’s no “one size fits all” advice for depression and heartbreak, there are some very important general principles that apply to most people who are presently suffering. The reminders that follow, then, aren’t universal clarifications, but simple guidelines that will hopefully give you a general starting point for supporting yourself or someone you love through the process of coping with depression and/or heartbreak.

1. Depression is not a state of mind you consciously or logically choose.

   Being depressed is kind of like being lost deep in the woods. When you’re lost deep in those woods, it might take you some time just to realize that you’re lost. For a while, it’s easy to convince yourself that you’ve just wandered off the path—that you’ll find your way back any moment now. Then night falls, again and again, and

   you still have no idea where you are, and although it’s agonizing to admit, you begin to realize that you’ve disoriented yourself so far off the beaten path, so deep into the thick of the woods, that you can’t even tell which direction the sun rises or sets anymore. You’re not choosing to be where you are, but you can’t see a way out. That’s how depression felt when we were struggling through it a decade ago.

   Depression is one of the most helpless and tiring emotional experiences a person can live through.

   Sometimes it’s feeling totally disoriented, sometimes it’s feeling completely hopeless, and sometimes it’s feeling absolutely nothing at all. There are times when depression can leave you feeling dead inside, incapable of moving and doing the things you used to enjoy. No one chooses to be depressed, and no one can turn it off or on in an instant whenever they feel like it. It’s a state of mind that must be coped with and healed one tiny step at a time over the long term.

2. Depression is not simply a deeper state of heartbreak or sadness, and it’s often misunderstood.

   Heartbreak can be a trigger for depression, but depression is something altogether different. Depression isn’t

   rational or emotional—it isn’t a straightforward response to a tough situation. Depression just is, like rain in Seattle. It lingers, and it’s hard to wrap your mind around if you haven’t experienced it.

   Some people may imply that they know what it’s like to be depressed simply because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or lost a loved one. While these tough life situations can lead to depression, they don’t create depression by default. In most cases these experiences carry with them strong emotional feelings (a key side effect of heartbreak). Depression, on the other hand, is often flat, hollow, and insufferable—literally sapping a person of emotion, hope, and reason.

   You don’t feel like you. You don’t even feel human. You’re disheartened and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and desperate and demanding, and no reassurance is ever enough. You’re frightened, and you’re frightening, and you’re “not at all like yourself but will be better soon,” but you know you won’t.

   Here’s a chilling quote from Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace that brings this point home: “The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote

   ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom ‘its’ invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise.

   “Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”

3. Being loved when you are depressed feels like a massive burden.

   “I don’t want to see anyone. I lie in the bedroom with the curtains drawn and nothingness washing over me like a sluggish wave. Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. I have done something wrong, something so huge I can’t even see it, something that’s drowning me. I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead.”

   That quote from Margaret Atwood’s novel Cat’s Eye reminds us of the desperate loneliness and isolation one feels when depressed. But even though depression makes you feel hopelessly alone, that’s often exactly what depression motivates you to seek—more isolation. People suffering from depression typically feel like they’re a burden on their loved ones. This causes them to isolate themselves and push away the very people they need.

   So if someone you love becomes distant through their depression, just do your best to remind them as often as possible that you’re still nearby, but don’t force them to socialize or talk about their feelings if they don’t want to. Be patient. Ease into it. Introduce plenty of small opportunities to create informal one-on-one time when you can break them out of their routine, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Reach out to them at random intervals. Just be a present, living reminder that they are not alone.

4. Depression and heartbreak can exhaust the human spirit.

   Relentless exhaustion is a common side effect of both depression and severe heartbreak. Just getting out of bed in the morning can be an overwhelming and excruciating experience. Also, someone suffering from these states of mind may feel okay one moment and then completely depleted the next, even if they’re eating right and getting plenty of sleep. This can result in them canceling plans, departing get-togethers early, or saying no far more often than usual. These choices aren’t personal attacks on friends and family—it has nothing to do with anyone else. These are just some of the prevalent side effects of working through severe mental anguish.

   Again, if you love someone who is presently suffering, remind yourself that a human being can only give to others what they themselves have. Remind yourself that depression and, to a lesser degree, heartbreak, can take almost everything away. All your actions and words should come from a place of love, but that doesn’t mean your depressed or heartbroken loved one will always be loving in return, and that’s okay. When you do not take things personally, you liberate yourself—you open yourself to loving someone who truly needs you, freely, and without letting needless expectations get in the way of the immeasurable amounts of love you are capable of giving.

5. When you’re depressed or heartbroken, the classic clichés never help.

   “Time heals all wounds.”

   “It’s not that big of a deal.” “You just need some fresh air.” “It’s time to move on”

   It’s easy for people to say “positive” things like that with the best of intentions, but when you’re suffering from depression or severe heartbreak, these kinds of clichéd phrases often come across the wrong way— thoughtless, empty, and essentially worthless.

   In most cases, clichés like these don’t address reality and only agitate the anxiety within, making a depressed or heartbroken person wish they were alone. It’s like trying to strap a two-inch Band-Aid on a foot- long gaping wound.

   So, if given the chance, what can you say instead? Again, there’s no “one size fits all” answer. Just do your best to be sincere and supportive.

   Here’s a rough idea of what we might say (maybe not all at once):

   “I love you, and I’m not the only one. Please believe me. Please believe that the people who love you are worth living for even when you don’t feel it. Strive to revisit the good memories your depression (or heartbreak) is hiding from you, and project them into the present. Breathe. Be brave. Be here and take today just one tiny step at a time. Exercise because it’s good for you, even if every step feels like it weighs nine hundred pounds.

   Eat when food itself sickens you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason. I’m here now, and I’ll be here tomorrow too. I believe in you. We are in this together.”

   And then we’d give a long, silent hug.

6. Heartbreak can be a healthy anchor for healing and living well in the long run. While depression disconnects us from our human emotions, and therefore must be carefully addressed, heartbreak by itself can actually help us move through our emotions. Heartbreak is never a pleasant experience, but it can be a healthy one when it’s internalized in a healthy way. In fact, as human beings, we

   sometimes get used to the weight of our heartbreak and how it holds us in place. Angel once said, “My brother, Todd, will die over and over again for the rest of my life, and I’m okay with that. It keeps me closer to him.” This was Angel’s way of reminding us that heartbreak doesn’t just break you down and disappear. Step by step, breath by breath, it becomes a part of you. And it can become a healthy part of you too—an anchor that keeps you grounded.

   Truth be told, the wisest, most loving, and well-rounded people you have ever met are likely those who have been shattered by heartbreak. Yes, life creates the greatest humans by breaking them first. Their destruction into pieces allows them to be fine-tuned and reconstructed into a masterpiece. Truly, it’s the painstaking journey of falling apart and coming back together that fills their hearts and minds with a level of compassion, understanding, and deep, loving wisdom that can’t possibly be acquired any other way.

   We have worked one-on-one with hundreds of these incredible people over the past decade, both online and offline, through various forms of coaching, side projects, and our live annual conferences. In many cases they came to us feeling stuck and lost, unaware of their own brilliance, blind to the fact that their struggles have

   strengthened them and given them a resilient upper hand in this crazy world. Honestly, many of these people are now our biggest heroes. Over the years they have given us as much as, if not more than, we have given them. And they continue to be our greatest source of inspiration on a daily basis.

7. Painful hardships often lead to post-traumatic growth.

To piggyback off the previous point, we want to briefly mention an emerging field of psychology called post- traumatic growth, which has proved that we, as human beings, are able to use various forms of hardships (including those that lead to severe heartbreak and even mild to moderate depression) for substantial intellectual development over the long term. Specifically, researchers have found that hardships can help us grow our contentment, emotional strength, and resourcefulness. When our view of the world as a safe place, or as a certain type of place, has been shattered, we are forced to reboot our perspective on things. With the right support and healing practices in place, we gradually gain the ability to see things with a fresh set of beginner’s eyes again, which can be extremely beneficial to our personal growth.

Here is an excerpt on post-traumatic growth from our book Getting Back to Happy:

“We need to remember that all of us can heal through hardships, and many of us are even catapulted onto a more meaningful, motivated path after experiencing one. Growth through hard times is far more common than most of us realize. The challenge is to bring awareness to the opportunity presented by these kinds of unexpected and undesirable events. Afterward, we need hope. In the aftermath of intense pain, we need to know there is something better—and there almost always is. A traumatic experience is not simply a painful experience to be endured. Instead, it can be incredibly life changing by motivating us to evolve in the best ways possible.

“It isn’t an easy journey, but most of us have the mental and emotional capacity to emerge from our hardships—even severe ones—stronger, more focused, and with a better perspective on life. In numerous psychological studies of people who have suffered traumatic hardships, about 50 percent of them report positive changes in their lives as a result of their negative experiences. Some changes are small (more appreciation for the average day, for example), while others are so seismic that they propel them onto totally new and rewarding life paths. The bottom line is that the most painful things that could possibly happen to us can be pivotal circumstances of great opportunity. Hardships often push us to face the reality of life’s impermanence, to appreciate our limits, and to find more meaningful understandings of who we are and how we want to spend

the rest of our lives.”

The Law of Supposition that is a lot of a free General Regulation to the Pattern of good following good, yet you may be asking yourself: What is it and, all the more critically, how can it assist me with showing a spilling over bank balance, my perfect partner and the most amazing job I could ever imagine?

We should dig somewhat more profound.

The Law of Supposition that depends on the possibility that we make our own world through our viewpoints, convictions, and presumptions. As such, what we accept to be valid turns into our existence.

This idea might appear to be straightforward, however it requires a change in mentality. It’s not difficult to become involved with the conviction that we want to have something outside to feel cheerful or satisfied. Yet, the Law of Supposition moves us to relinquish that connection and on second thought center around encapsulating the sensation of previously having what we need.

Have you at any point saw that when you trust something to be valid, you will generally see proof of it all over?

For instance, assuming you accept that individuals are by and large kind and agreeable, you’re bound to see thoughtful gestures and benevolence around you. Then again, assuming you accept that individuals are inconsiderate and egotistical, you’re bound to see negative way of behaving and associations.

This is on the grounds that our convictions and suspicions make a channel through which we see the world. What’s more, the Law of Suspicion makes this one stride further by proposing that not in the least do our convictions and suppositions shape our discernments, yet they likewise shape our genuine reality.

All in all, how might you utilize the Law of Suspicion to show your fantasies? Indeed, everything revolves around picking your presumptions deliberately and purposefully. Rather than accepting the worst situation imaginable or expecting that your fantasies are unimaginable, begin expecting the most ideal situation, and accept that your fantasies are reachable.

Consider it the most ideal “imagine a scenario where?” Consider the possibility that everything worked out. Consider the possibility that I manifest a truly amazing job effortlessly. Imagine a scenario in which my perfect partner is searching for me as well.

Suppose you’re attempting to show a new position. Rather than expecting that the work market is intense or accepting that you’re not sufficiently qualified, begin expecting that the ideal occupation is out there for yourself and that you’re the very perfectly individual for the job. This will significantly alter the manner in which you approach your pursuit of employment and will likewise impact the manner in which you introduce yourself in interviews.

Or on the other hand suppose you’re attempting to show a better half. Rather than expecting that every one of the great ones are taken or accepting that you’re not adequately appealing, begin expecting that the ideal accomplice is out there for yourself and that you’re prepared to get love. This will impact the manner in which you collaborate with expected accomplices and will likewise alter the manner in which you feel about yourself.

The key here is to pick suspicions that vibe great to you and that line up with the truth you need to make. At the point when you expect to be awesome, you begin to see proof of it all over the place, and your existence begins to move to match your suspicions.

The following are a couple of reasonable advances you can take to coordinate the Law of Supposition into your sign practice:

1. Recognize what you genuinely want. Get clear on what you need to show, and afterward ask yourself: How might it feel to as of now have it? What feelings could I encounter? How might my life be unique?

2. Accept the sensation of your desire being satisfied. Whenever you’ve recognized the feelings related with your ideal result, begin working on feeling those feelings consistently. Imagine yourself previously having what you believe and permit yourself should completely encounter the delight and energy that accompanies it.

3. Discharge connection to the result. This is maybe the most difficult aspect of the Law of Supposition. It expects us to relinquish our connection to the result and trust that the universe will bring us what we genuinely want. Keep in mind, the more we stick to a particular result, the more obstruction we make and the harder it becomes to show what we need.

Integrating the Law of Presumption has the ability to totally change your sign cycle. By zeroing in on the sensation of previously having what you need, you make a vibrational recurrence that lines up with your cravings and draws them towards you. This Regulation may very well be the unaccounted for part you really want to open your full showing potential — would you say you are prepared to attempt it?

There are different methodologies for keeping a position whenever you have accomplished an achievement. Steve Rubel expounded on Jay Leno’s way to deal with keeping away from lack of concern and continually striving to continue to put out extraordinary item – jokes in Leno’s case.[1] Inasmuch as Leno can keep up with the lead, he will actually want to resign from the best position during a period fitting his personal preference – similar as Johnny Carson did.

Yet, imagine a scenario where you would rather not stay in a similar spot. Or on the other hand, imagine a scenario where there is a lot of contest like there is in pro athletics so that resigning at a late age can never turn into a genuine choice. Imagine a scenario where your objective was a single shot thing like finishing a long distance race. Something substantially more typical is meeting a weight reduction objective. When a weight watcher arrives at the enchanted number, the person in question feels better about the achievement and no longer feels as propelled to work at it. This prompts the unpleasant and unsettling yo diet impact where huge swings in weight can likewise prompt serious wellbeing outcomes.

There are a few magnificent procedures for pushing ahead while keeping away from the tricky downhill slant once you arrive at a major objective. The best systems are totally founded on in some way developing personally. These systems are as per the following:

1. Set a New (Bigger) Goal

This works well in areas where there is room for expansion. It is a popular one for entrepreneurs with many who seem to bet the bank on the next bigger deal. There is always a bigger deal that can be made and the cycle can become endless.

2. Move the Original Goalpost Further Out

Similar to the previous strategy except it is based on expanding the original goal rather than looking for a different bigger deal. For someone who has completed a marathon, the idea would be to work toward completing an overnight ultra-marathon.

3. Fulfill an Unrelated Childhood Dream

Achievers often focus in an area while neglecting other interests. Once a big milestone has been achieved, why not go out and pursue a childhood passion? One of our colleagues did just that when he took two years out of the industrial equipment business to go and drive Greyhound buses through scenic routes. He would have done it for free since he dreamed of driving a big bus when he was a kid. He got his fill and went back into the industrial business rejuvenated having fulfilled his childhood dream.

4. Quit

Yes, this might be a good option if you had to go through hell to achieve your goal. Suppose you bought and operated a small coal mine and now have a full bank account along with a bad case of black lung. Let’s say you’ve had a popular blog or program running for a few months or years and met your goals. Or have your third book published and are not super keen on writing a fourth one. It is often better to quit while you are ahead and leave on a high note. A completed goal does not need to automatically need to lead to a new one. Take a break, smell the roses and don’t worry about rushing into a big new adventure right away (if ever again).

5. Join the Community

Let’s say you completed a marathon or met a weight-loss target . Join or stay with a club you already joined even if you don’t have a current goal. Help others achieve their goals and learn from your experiences. Chances are you’ll stay in shape and maybe set a new goal in the area if it serves your interests.

6. Become a Sportscaster

Many athletes stay productive after achieving a big goal by getting involved in different activities that are in the area they love. This strategy basically involves staying in the loop.

7. Don’t Let it Die a Slow Death

If you are finding that your career has peaked, be careful to avoid becoming a casualty of a slow painful death. Keep going, change goals, quit or stay involved in a different capacity but don’t achieve your goal and then let things slowly crumble because it could suck the life out of you in the process. Too many people experience the letdowns associated by passing their peak without having established someplace else to turn.

Bottom Line

These techniques can likewise work for any individual who has not yet met a major objective or sorts out there is no practical method for arriving at it. Make the important changes in accordance with the objectives so they can become feasible. Quality Roddenberry hasn’t been to another planet however he fabricated a Star Journey universe. He transformed his fantasies into reality in a manner that was feasible.

Our attention here is on we who have met at least one major objectives. In the event that the objective was a beneficial one, it probably would have required a lot of exertion, energy, time and cash to finish. Defining and accomplishing major objectives typically includes gigantic self-awareness. When the objective has been met, the development shouldn’t stop. Development can be in similar region or in new regions. Be that as it may, be mindful so as to stay away from the contrary impact – individual psychologist.

Achieving personal goals deserves a huge amount of celebration, but setting these goals in the first place is a massive achievement in itself.

While the big goals serve as a destination, the journey is probably the most important part of the process. It reflects your progress, your growth, and your ability take control and steer your life towards positive change.

Whatever your goal is, whether it’s losing 20lbs or learning a new language, there will always be a set amount of steps you need to take in order to achieve it. Once you’ve set your sights on your goal, the next stage is to decide how you will get there.

The aim of this article is to guide you through how to take action towards your personal goals in a way that will help you achieve them strategically and successfully (read more on how to accomplish goals).

1. Get Very Specific

When it comes to setting your personal goals, honing in on its specifics is crucial for success.

It’s common to have a broad idea of where you want to go or what you want to achieve, but this can sabotage your efforts in the long run.

Get clear on what you want your goal to look like so you can create solid steps towards it.

Say you have a vision on retiring early[1]. This goal feels good to you, and you can envision filling your days of work-free life with worldly adventures and time with loved ones.

If retiring early is a serious personal goal for you, you will need to insert a timeframe. So, your goal has changed from “I’d like to someday retire early and travel the world” to “I’m going to retire by 50 and travel the world.”

It may not seem significant, but creating this tweak in your goal by specifying a definite time will help create and structure the steps needed to achieve it in a more purposeful way.

2. Identify the Preparation You Need to Achieve Your Goal

It’s easy to set personal goals and excitedly yet aimlessly move towards them. But this way of going about achieving goals will only leave you lost and feeling like you’ll never achieve them.

You have to really think about what you need to do in order to make this goal possible. It’s all very well wanting it to happen, but if you just sit back and hope you’ll get there one day, you’ll likely never achieve your desired outcome.

Self-managing your goals is a crucial step in the process. This involves taking control of your goal, owning it, and making sure you are in a great position to make it happen.

In the early retirement example, this would mean you will need to think about your financial situation.

What will your finances ideally need to look like if you were to retire early and travel the world? How much money will you need to put into your retirement fund to retire at 50? How much extra savings will you need to support your travels? You could also start researching the places you’d like to travel to and how long you’d like to travel for.

3. Break Down Each Step Into More Manageable Goals

The secret to achieving your personal goals is to create smaller goals within each step and take action. Remember, you’re looking for progress, no matter how small it may seem.

These small steps build up and get you to the top. By doing this, you also make the whole process much less daunting and overwhelming.

In the early retirement scenario, there are several smaller goals you could implement here:

• Decide to make an appointment with a financial advisor asking what financial options would be available to you if you were to go into early retirement and travel. Get advice on how much you would need to top up your funds in order to reach your goal on time.
• Set up and start to make payments into the retirement fund.
• Research savings accounts with good rates of interest and commit to depositing a certain amount each month.
• Make sure you meet with your financial advisor each year to make sure your retirement plan remains the best one for you. Research new savings accounts to move your money into to reap the best returns in interest rates.
• Start investing in travel books, building up a library that covers where you want to go.
• Think about starting a language course that will help you get the most out of your travel experience.

4. Get Started on the Journey

Creating a goal planner in which you can start writing down your next steps is where the magic happens. This is where the real momentum towards your personal goals starts!

Create a schedule and start by writing in when you will start the first task and on which day. Commit to completing this small task and feel the joy of crossing it off your list. Do this with every little step until your first mini goal has been reached.

In the early retirement example, schedule in a meeting with a financial advisor.

As I mentioned before, it may seem such a small step, but it’s the momentum that’s the most important element here. Once you cross this off, you can focus on the meeting itself. Then, once that’s ticked off, you are in a position of starting a profitable retirement fund, and so the momentum continues.

5. Create an Annual Review

Taking a step back and reviewing your progress is essential for keeping yourself on the right track. Sometimes you can be moving full steam ahead towards your goal but miss seeing the opportunities to improve a process or even re-evaluate your feelings towards the goal.

Nominate a day each year to sit down and take a look at your progress. Celebrate your achievements and how far you’ve come. But also think about changing any of the remaining steps in light of new circumstances.

Has anything changed? Perhaps you got a promotion at work, and you feel you can add more to your monthly savings.

Do you still feel the same about your goal? It’s normal for our desires to change over time, and our personal goals need to reflect this.

Perhaps you’d like to take someone new with you on your travels, and you need to take this into account regarding timelines. Are there any new steps you want to add and start working on as a result?

Remember, reflection is a useful tool in realigning your goal to any changes during personal growth, and it’s important to keep on the right trajectory towards it.

The Bottom Line

Having personal goals gives you purpose and the feeling of becoming a better version of yourself, but it’s the smaller steps within these big goals that the growth and achievement really lies.

Keep going and always have the end goal in sight. Remember the “why” behind your life goals throughout to keep you motivated and positive.

Schedules and commitments can get a little unruly. Utilize the definition of S.M.A.R.T. goals to personalize them accordingly to preferences. Here is where you will gain a tremendous amount of personal development and set yourself up for success this year. Prioritize these 20 monthly goal ideas to help you grow the coming year and be amazed at how your productivity and success accelerate.

1. Read One Book

Education is key to learning and expanding your perspective. Reading opens up the mind to understanding how an idea becomes a motion that moves one to take action. If you read one book a month, that’s 12 new books for the year. Imagine what incredible ideas you will experience and be able to implement every month.

2. Flex Your Core Muscles More Often

Fitness is essential to healthy living. But one area that is not focused on enough is the core: upper legs, abdominals, and back. It’s here where confidence is physically built. Stand taller because your body is stronger. Get to the core of what matters, and flex your core muscles.

3. Donate Unnecessary Household/Office Items

There is so much stuff that’s accumulated over the years. Instead of drowning in the piles, donate the stuff that you don’t use. And if you want to be proactive, for every new thing you bring in, donate one old thing of equal size. This way, the accumulation will lessen, allowing the mind to stay centered on the goal.

4. Volunteer at a Local Charity

When you give to someone else, your gratitude grows. How powerful it is to help those in need, especially in your own community? It’s a great way to give back and feel good. Check out a senior center or a food bank. There are many areas in town where your gratitude can grow.

5. Try a New Recipe

How much does your menu change? Most people get stuck eating at the same restaurants or cooking the same main meals. Increase your selections by expanding your options on what to eat. Your palate will adopt a variety of new flavors from around the globe. Grab a local favorite and recreate the dish at home. Soon your menu will expand to the point where no meal is repeated, except your take-out pizza!

6. Learn a New Skill

To broaden your horizons, learn a new skill to enhance something you already know or something out of the ordinary. There is no end to learning and stretching your comfort zone. New skills build character and make you feel good.

7. Create One Healthy Habit

Healthy living comes with practice and consistency. Build upon what you are already doing by adding one healthy habit. This will reinforce what matters to your body while creating a healthier lifestyle that becomes more manageable as you get older. Age is only a number!

8. Get to Know Someone New

Increase your net worth by increasing your network—get to know someone new. The more you diversify your network, the more significant your impact will grow. Meet and greet to serve and grow.

9. Conduct a Random Act of Kindness

Regardless of what is happening in the world, everyone can give back by surprising someone with a random act of kindness. Put the hostility and fussy attitude in your back pocket, and extend a hand up with a kind act. You can make someone’s morning with a cup of coffee or lunch on the house.

10. Make a Dent Into Debt

Living outside your means is becoming easier every day. Lower your debt when you make an intentional commitment to paying it off. Start with the smallest debt that you carry and put what you can to lower what’s due. Soon, the debt will disappear, giving you more freedom in your finances.

11. Practice Forgiveness

When you experience hurt, it’s easy to hold on to the feelings. However, if you operate daily from hurt, it can dilute the good in your life and lead to bitterness. Therefore, you feel less accomplished and more slighted. Let go of what’s not serving you and practice forgiveness.

One step at a time leads to miles of greatness! —Kristianne Wargo

12. Attend a Community Event

There is nothing greater than the community in which you call home. Honor your home by attending a community event. These are opportunities to see what your community has to offer. You might be pleasantly surprised at the talents and gifts discovered at the local theatre, mom & pop restaurant, or even a holiday fair. Don’t forget the high school and community college where lots of new talent is waiting to be awakened.

13. Invest in Your Spirituality

Take your devotion to the next level. However you define spirituality, make time to grow deeper in your relationship. Dedicate a measurable goal that will elevate your discipline and pull you closer to what you desire in your spirituality. Here is where you can connect your head and your heart to impact the world that you touch. But first, it starts with you!

14. Clear the Cluttered Closet

How many times have you said, “I have nothing to wear.”? Most of the time, it’s because what you do have is getting buried by what you don’t wear. All you can see is what you wore last week, which doesn’t seem new and fresh. Streamline your closet by clearing the clutter. Donate what doesn’t fit and enjoy a new outfit—no more excuses for not having anything to wear. A clean closet is an organized mind.

15. Complete One Household Project

How long is your to-do list? You can feel highly accomplished by taking on one household project. It might be that linen closet that’s stuffed to the max. Or you might want to put up the new pictures along with trading out the new lamps in your living room. By the end of the year, you will have completed twelve in total. However, if the project is massive, then you can use a couple of months. A refresh is great for real-time inspiration to keep moving forward.

16. Find Your Miracle Morning Rhythm

Mornings are vital to jumpstart your day. Don’t let aging wrinkles or tired eyes determine how you look at your day. Dress your day for success by how you groom your day. Get up at a regular time every day, even during your days off.

Prepare what you can before going to bed. Brain dump your thoughts and ideas into a journal. Drink water before your feet hit the ground running. Make tweaks here and there to find your miracle morning rhythm. Remember to play to your strengths.

17. Clean Your Refrigerator

Besides the bedroom, the kitchen is the room you spend the most time in. Leave the junk food behind by cleaning out the fridge. Whether you need a snack or a full meal, a clean refrigerator makes you want to eat the good stuff. You can see what you need quicker and what might serve your stomach later. Bon appetit!

18. Spend Time in Quiet

Listening is a crucial growth skill. When you spend time in quiet, you force yourself to slow down to see what’s right in front of you. This skill takes practice and does not come easy for most, especially since many are always on the go. When you make space to slow down, it creates room to speed up. Accelerate reaching your goals when you spend time in quiet. Listen to what the silence is telling you.

19. Unsubscribe to Email Lists

Who needs more distractions and junk mail? Delete what you are not using for the month. You can always re-subscribe if you must. Clearing your email gives you more time to do what you want, and who doesn’t need more time? Let your productivity begin by unsubscribing from what’s not required each month.

20. Repeat What Matters

If you are looking for a leg up on your personal growth and development, repeat what matters. You get to decipher what serves your long-term goals. Don’t hesitate. Say no, and strike out the stuff that depletes you emotionally and physically. You need to share your talents and gifts with the world. So, dream big and set those monthly goals.

Take A.I.M. (Action Ignites Motivation)

You’ve got this! Commit to what matters to you individually. Be specific about where you want to go every month. This cuts out the messy middle and keeps you hyper-focused on your monthly goals to help you grow this year.

If goal-setting is a challenge, check out our guide Achieving Goals: The Ultimate Guide to Goal Achieving & Goal Setting. You are made for more!

Keep in mind that all goals may not be met. So, don’t despair what you can repair. By setting monthly goals, you are permitting yourself to achieve that which you can imagine and see. Life isn’t about the results, but about the journey in getting to those results. Create yours now!