FAMILY PLANNING – Hybrid Learning

Things to Remember About Toxic Family Members

Batoota — Mon, 02 Jan 2023 06:26:45 +0000

Family is meant to be our protected haven. Generally, nonetheless, it’s the place the place we discover the deepest heartache.

LETTING GO OF (or breaking apart with) a poisonous good friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend is one factor, and there’s loads of recommendation on the market for doing so, however what about letting go of a poisonous member of the family?

Most of us usually are not able to simply stroll away, nor will we really feel that we need to, or that it’s the correct factor to do. So what will we do when a member of the family is hurting our hearts with their toxicity? How will we take care of our emotions of obligation, confusion, betrayal, and heartache?

At the beginning, you may settle for the truth that not everybody’s household is wholesome or out there for them to lean on, to name on, or to go residence to. Not each household tie is constructed on the premise of mutual respect, love, and

assist. Generally “household” merely implies that you share a bloodline. That’s all. Some relations construct us up, and a few break us down. So simply because somebody is blood-related to you doesn’t mechanically make

them the healthiest affect in your life.

Second, you may perceive that a poisonous member of the family could also be going by means of a tough stage of their lives.

They could be sick, chronically nervous, or missing what they want by way of love and emotional assist. These folks should be listened to, supported, and cared for (though, no matter the reason for their troubles, you should want to guard your self from their poisonous conduct at occasions).

The important thing factor to bear in mind is that each case of coping with a poisonous member of the family is somewhat totally different, however in any and each case, there are some common ideas we have to bear in mind, for our personal sake:

They is probably not an inherently dangerous particular person, however they’re not the correct particular person to be spending time with each day.

Not all poisonous household relationships are agonizing and uncaring on objective. A few of them are individuals who care

about you—individuals who have good intentions however are poisonous as a result of their wants and approach of present on the earth power you to compromise your self and your happiness. And as arduous as it’s, we now have to distance ourselves sufficient to offer ourselves area to dwell. You merely can’t damage your self each day for the sake of somebody else. It’s a must to make your well-being a precedence. Whether or not which means spending much less time with somebody, loving a member of the family from a distance, letting go solely, or quickly eradicating your self from a scenario that

feels painful, you may have each proper to take a step again and create some wholesome area for your self.
Poisonous folks typically conceal cleverly behind passive aggression.

Passive-aggressive conduct takes many types however can usually be described as a nonverbal aggression that manifests in detrimental conduct. As a substitute of overtly expressing how they really feel, somebody makes refined, annoying gestures directed at you. As a substitute of claiming what’s truly upsetting them, they discover small and petty methods to take jabs at you till you concentrate and get upset, generally not even realizing why. In a wholesome relationship, a liked one received’t really feel the necessity to conceal behind passive aggression in an effort to specific what they

are pondering. So, simply concentrate on passive aggression whenever you expertise it, and if the opposite particular person refuses to cause with you and continues their conduct, you will have no selection however to create a few of that area mentioned in level number one.
They’ll attempt to bully you into submission, for those who allow them to.

We at all times hear about schoolyard bullies, however the greatest bullies are sometimes poisonous relations. And bullying isn’t okay. Interval! There is no such thing as a freedom on earth that offers somebody the correct to assault who you’re as a particular person. Sadly, some folks simply received’t be comfortable till they’ve pushed your ego to the bottom and stomped on it. What you may need to do is have the nerve to face up for your self. Don’t give them leeway. No one has the energy to make you’re feeling small except you give them that energy. It takes an excessive amount of braveness to face as much as your enemies, however simply as a lot to face as much as your loved ones and mates. Generally bullying comes from essentially the most unlikely locations. Be cognizant of how the folks closest to you deal with you, and look out for the refined jabs they throw. When essential, confront them—do no matter it takes to offer your self the chance to develop into who you actually are.
Pretending their poisonous conduct is okay shouldn’t be okay.

When you’re not cautious, poisonous relations can use their moody conduct to get preferential remedy, as a result of, properly, it simply appears simpler to quiet them down than to take heed to their rhetoric. Don’t be fooled. Quick-term ease equals long-term ache for you in a scenario like this. Poisonous folks don’t change if they’re being rewarded for not altering. Determine this minute to not be influenced by their conduct. Cease tiptoeing round them or making particular pardons for his or her continued belligerence. Fixed drama and negativity isn’t value placing up with. If somebody in your loved ones over the age of twenty-one can’t be an inexpensive, dependable, respectful grownup frequently, it’s time to take away your self from the road of fireplace.
You do not need to neglect your self simply because they do.

Follow self-care each day. Significantly, for those who’re compelled to dwell with a poisonous particular person, then be sure you get sufficient alone time to relaxation and recuperate. Having to play the position of a centered, rational grownup within the face of poisonous moodiness will be exhausting, and for those who’re not cautious, the toxicity can infect you. Poisonous relations

can preserve you up at evening as you continuously query your self: “Am I doing the correct factor? Am I actually so horrible that they despise me a lot? I can’t imagine she did that! I’m so damage!” Ideas like these can agonize you for weeks, months, and even years. Generally that is the purpose of a poisonous member of the family: to drive you mad and make you out to be the loopy one. As a result of oftentimes they do not know why they really feel the best way they do, and they’ll’t see past their very own emotional wants, therefore their relentless poisonous communication and actions. And since you may’t management what they do, it’s necessary to care for your self as a way to stay centered, feeling wholesome, and able to dwell positively within the face of negativity when you need to—mindfulness, meditation, prayer, and common train work wonders!
If their poisonous conduct turns into bodily, it’s a authorized matter that should be addressed.

When you’ve survived the wrath of a bodily abuser in your loved ones, and also you tried to reconcile issues . . . for those who forgave, and also you struggled, and even when the expression of your grief had you succumb to outbursts of poisonous

anger . . . for those who spent years hanging on to the notions of belief and religion, even after you knew in your coronary heart that these stunning intangibles, upon which love is constructed and sustained, would by no means be returned . . . and particularly for those who stood up because the barrier between an abuser and another person, and took the brunt of the abuse of their place

—you’re a hero! However now it’s time to be the hero of your future. Sufficient is sufficient! If somebody is bodily abusive, they’re breaking the legislation, and they should take care of the implications of their actions.
Though it’s arduous, you may’t take their poisonous conduct personally.

When an individual is being clearly poisonous, it’s them, not you. Know this. Poisonous relations will possible attempt to suggest that someway you’ve achieved one thing flawed. And since the feeling-guilty button is sort of giant on many people, even the implication that we’d have achieved one thing flawed can damage our confidence and unsettle our resolve. Don’t let this occur to you. Bear in mind, there’s a big quantity of freedom that involves

you whenever you take nothing personally. Most poisonous folks behave negatively not simply to you however to everybody they work together with. Even when the scenario appears private—even for those who really feel straight insulted—it normally has nothing to do with you. What they are saying and do, and the opinions they’ve, are primarily based closely on their very own self- reflection—their emotions and understandings about life.
Hating them for being poisonous solely brings extra toxicity into your life.

Because the saying attributed to Gandhi goes, “A watch for an eye fixed will solely make the entire world blind.” No matter how despicable a member of the family has acted, by no means let hate construct in your coronary heart. Preventing hatred with hatred solely hurts you extra. Whenever you resolve to hate somebody, you mechanically start digging two graves: one in your enemy and one for your self. Hateful grudges are for many who insist that they’re owed one thing.

Forgiveness, however, is for many who are sturdy sufficient and good sufficient to maneuver on. In any case, one of the best revenge is to be not like the one that damage you. The very best revenge resides properly, in a approach that creates peace in your coronary heart.
Individuals can change, and a few poisonous household relationships will be repaired in the long term.

When belief is damaged, which occurs in almost each household relationship sooner or later, it’s important to perceive that it may be repaired, supplied each persons are keen to do the arduous work of self-growth. The truth is, it’s right now, when it feels just like the stable bedrock of your relationship has crumbled into mud, that you just’re being given a possibility to shed the patterns and dynamics with one another that haven’t been serving you. It’s painful work and a painful time, and the impulse will probably be to stroll away, particularly for those who imagine that damaged belief can’t be repaired. However for those who perceive that belief ranges rise and fall over the course of a lifetime, you’ll be extra prone to discover the energy to hold in, cling on, and develop collectively. Nevertheless it does take two. You possibly can’t do it alone.
Sadly, generally all you are able to do is let go for good.

All particulars apart, that is your life. You might not be capable of management all of the issues poisonous relations do to you, however you may resolve to not be diminished by them in the long term. You possibly can resolve to not let their actions and opinions constantly invade your coronary heart and thoughts. And above all, you may resolve whom to stroll beside tomorrow, and whom to depart behind at present. In an ideal world we’d at all times be capable of repair with poisonous relations, however as everyone knows, the world isn’t excellent. Put within the effort and do what you may to maintain issues intact, however don’t be afraid to let go and do what’s proper for you when you need to.

POPULATION GROWTH

Batoota — Wed, 28 Jun 2017 11:28:52 +0000

POPULATION GROWTH. See Family Planning.

High population growth rates over the past forty years coupled with worries about economic and social development have spurred debate on the use of family planning measures by Muslims

FAMILY PLANNING

Batoota — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:31:32 +0000

FAMILY PLANNING. High population growth rates over the past forty years coupled with worries about economic and social development have spurred debate on the use of family planning measures by Muslims. In the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, populations in Muslim countries grew slowly as high birth rates were offset by high mortality rates. Following World War II and continuing today, countries with a majority of Muslim citizens are, generally speaking, characterized by high birth rates, which are falling gradually, and a mortality rate that, although still higher than average, is declining. A variety of factors have combined to decrease the total fertility rate (number of children born), including availability of medical services, widespread community health and sanitation programs, greater literacy, the education of women, migration to urban areas, and employment availability.
Although some Muslim countries have the resources to support a growing population, others with more limited resources fear the impact of population growth on their ability to provide services for their citizens. National family planning programs have been implemented in a number of countries with varying success.
Since the beginning of Islam, the Muslim community has encouraged large families to ensure a strong and vibrant Muslim population. However, religious scholars (`ulama’) assert the religious permissibility of family planning in the fiqh (jurisprudence) literature on marriage and family. The Qur’an makes no mention of family planning measures, but a few hadith texts mention `azl (coitus interruptus). The fiqh discussion centers on the question of the permissibility of `azl, and schools differ in their response. `Azl is judged to be makruh (reprehensible), but major variables in determining the permissibility of `azl is the status of the woman involved (free or slave) and whether she gives her consent to its use. As `azl is considered to be detrimental to the woman, depriving her of her right to children (some schools believe it deprives her of sexual satisfaction), it was only permissible with a free woman if she consented to its use. All but the majority of the Shafi’i school ruled that the permissibility of `azl was contingent upon her consent.
As the jurists were male and `azl was controlled by the male partner, this was the only contraceptive method discussed in the fiqh literature. Medical texts, however, document that women have utilized a variety of other means of contraception. These methods included infusions, suppositories, sexual techniques, and magic (Hines, 1970).
Contemporary `ulama’ tend to resolve the religious permissibility of family planning along the same lines of reasoning as their medieval colleagues. The twentieth century introduced a variety of contraceptive methods whose usage is primarily controlled by women. Accordingly, the majority of `ulama’ rule that use of contraceptive methods is permissible for Muslims as long as the husband and the wife agree to it. This position follows the logic of the classical texts in that, although use of contraception may be injurious to the wishes of one spouse, if both agree, then the rights of both are guaranteed.
Less well-educated religious leaders in small towns and villages often hold that family planning is prohibited by Islam. Their reasoning follows a different line, which argues on deterministic grounds. They base their premise on a hadith that states: “Marry, have children and multiply that I will be proud of you on Judgment Day.” They prohibit family planning on the basis that it opposes the supremacy of the will of God.
Some Muslim scholars, as well as economists and development experts, have challenged Islam’s pronatalist policy by questioning whether the traditional way of defining the strength of Islam as proportional to the number of its adherents still applies. Mahmud Shaltut, rector of al-Azhar University during the early part of the regime of Gamal Abdel Nasser, argued for both the permissibility of family planning and the role of the state in implementing family planning programs. Although in early Islam strength was equated with a large population, Shaltut maintained that in the twentieth century, large populations may weaken rather than strengthen communities. Factors such as poverty, malnutrition, and lessened public morality that are concomitant with large populations in developing areas all make the Muslim community vulnerable to enemies. Shaltut stated that if family planning would contribute to alleviation of these social ills, it was then permissible in Islam; he implied that the state was responsible for the facilitation of such programs.
Contemporary `ulama’ who oppose family planning generally cite reasons having as much to do with politics as religion. The terms used for contraception often indicate political stances. “Birth control” (tahdid al-nasl) carries the negative sense of limiting or eliminating progeny; “family planning” (al-takhtit al-`a’ili or tanzim al-usrah) has a more positive connotation of spacing births in the best interests of all family members. While most `ulama’ hold that any family has the option to employ privately family planning measures, at the same time they may oppose government programs that disseminate birth control measures and information. Many see state-sponsored programs as an attempt at coercion.
Some Muslims regard the Western development experts’ linkage of population control and economic development as both damaging and fallacious. They postulate that the West seeks to weaken Islam by limiting the size of the Muslim community, and they reject all family planning programs on that basis. Muslim activists or Islamists are among the most vocal opponents of family planning. Islamists in Egypt attack contraceptive use in an attempt to counter the government’s two-decade-old family planning program. In 1977 the shaykh (rector) of al-Azhar wrote an essay, “Birth Control is a Refuted Idea,” which held that family planning is both unnecessary and counter to Islamic belief. He called for greater human reliance on God for sustenance and for Muslim inventiveness and dedication in the conquest of the desert and better use of resources. Many Islamists hold that use of birth control contributes to greater immorality in the form of premarital sexual activity, adultery, and abortion. These arguments are common in Islamist circles throughout the Muslim world, and are often tied to attempts to restrict greater latitude given to women in personal status laws. All Muslim religious leaders oppose sterilization on religious grounds as it permanently alters what God has created.

Dr.Zakir Naik on Family Planing

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Bowen, Donna Lee. “Islam and Family Planning in Morocco.” Maghreb Review 3.10 (1980): 20-29. Presents views of present-day Moroccan religious leaders on family planning.
Bowen, Donna Lee. “Muslim Juridical Opinions Concerning the Status of Women as Demonstrated by the Case of Azl.” journal of Near Eastern Studies 40.4 (1981): 323-328. Presentation of Muslim legal schools’ positions on contraceptive use.
Bowen, Donna Lee. “Pragmatic Morality: Islam and Family Planning in Morocco.” In Everyday Life in the Contemporary Middle East, edited by Donna Lee Bowen and E. A. Early, pp. 91-100. Bloomington, 1993 Presentation and analysis of contemporary Muslim views on family planning.
Hines, Norman E. Medical History of Contraception (1936). Boston, 1970. Chapter 6, “The Islamic World and Europe during the Middle Ages,” details contraceptive methods used in that period. Musallam, Basim F. Sex and Society in Islam: Birth Control before the Nineteenth Century. Cambridge, 1983. Excellent study of family planning in theory and practice, and the demography of Muslim nations during the medieval and early modern period.
Nazer, Isam R., ed. Islam and Family Planning. 2 vols. Beirut, 1974. Collection of articles by Muslim theologians (`ulama’) on all aspects of marriage, family, and family planning. First published in Arabic.
Omran, Abdel Rahim. Family Planning in the Legacy of Islam. London and New York, 1992. Comprehensive collection and discussion of Qur’anic, hadith, and jurisprudence references relating to marriage, the family, and family planning.
Shaltut, Mahmud. “Tanzim al-Nasl.” In Al-isldm: `Aqidah washari ah. Cairo, 1966. Controversial reading of Islamic social theory by the politically astute rector of al-Azhar.
Weeks, John R. “The Demography of Islamic Nations.” Population Bulletin (Washington, D.C.) 43.4 (1988). Handbook on demography and population issues in Islamic countries.